Day 9 (12 hrs late): Chew With Your Mouth Shut Moo Cow!

Well...as planned I opened my eyes today to see every POP of color around me! 

I was sitting in a restaurant today, alone, in a corner booth, peacefully eating a hot meal by myself.  (Those of you who are mommies appreciate the rarity of this occasion).  I was enjoying the food, the music playing, and the unique decor of the restaurant.  Suddenly, all this peacefulness and serenity was interrupted by a CRUNCH!!!

I usually pick a restaurant where I am in "like middle-class" company.  Therefore it is assumed the guests have been raised in a home, not in a barn, and are capable of eating like humans instead of cows.  However, on this particular occasion my booth neighbors stomped that rule all to Hell, Michigan (actually a town, look it up). 

Those of you who know me personally understand that I have no tolerance for poor table manners!!! How do socialized people grow from children into adults thinking it is ok to go out to eat, with other people around them, and CHEW and CRUNCH and SPIT their food?!?! 

With that in mind, I have decided to take this opportunity to educated those who may be reading whom were never taught table manners.  Please see rules below: 

1.      Sweatpants with holes and an old t-shirt are not proper attire to a middle-class restaurant.  (If there is a drive thru window you are NOT at a middle-class restaurant.  If there is a napkin and a wine glass on the table you should just leave because you will embarrass yourself).

2.      When you are served your food, sit down before you take a bite.

3.      Use your silverware unless you are eating a burger, taco or such.

4.      Use your napkin not your sleeve or pants legs to wipe your mouth or hands on.

5.      DO NOT CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN!!!  (If you chew with your mouth open and see NOTHING wrong with it…stick to the restaurants with the drive through windows where it is expected and accepted because you look like a cow chewing its cud.  If you have no idea what a cow’s cud is…again, stick to the drive thru restaurants…preferably using the drive thru).

6.      DO NOT TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL!!! (I have not encountered a person who enjoys being sprayed by food their neighbor is eating.  It is gross.  Stop it!).

7.      When you are finished eating DO NOT slurp, suck or pick the food from your teeth.  (This is also disgusting).

8.       If you are confused by any of these rules, just stay at home and eat…while you are home read a book on table manners and etiquette. 

      

*The above titles can be found at www.barnesandnoble.com .*

Ending on a good note… Unfortunately, the only pops of color I was able to see today were that of chewed tortilla chips and hot salsa spraying from my neighbor’s mouth!!! Wasn't the inspiration I was hoping for, but inspiring none-the-less.