Day 3: Middle-Class Moms Can't Change Stupid!

Cheers to the freakin weekend y'all!!!

If any of you 25 and ups are daydreaming of going back to college, I'm here to tell you BE PREPARED to bite your tongue, turn your head and pretend your deaf! If you cannot do any of the things suggested you should probably get your degree online!

First encounter with stupidity today...I was sitting in the library, studying for an S&P exam when two guys walked by to enter the men's room directly behind me...together.  (I thought girls were notorious for going to the bathroom together, but whatever).  I heard the stall doors shut, then some very gross and horrible noises!  I instinctively looked up and around to see if anyone else was hearing what I heard (according to my husband I have super-sonic hearing so I'm never sure)...  When I looked up I met eyes with three people sitting around me, also within hearing distance, who were OBVIOUSLY wondering the same thing :)  Meanwhile, toilets flush, trashcans slam and the door opens.  The two guys come out together (Weird but whatever).  One guy says to the other, "Man, that was epic"...the other responds "Yeah man, that sounded painful"...WTF[IRETRUCK]!!!...REALLY?!?!.....REALLY?!?!  We all just heard you SHIT[AKE] mushroom! REALLY?!?!   

Second encounter with stupidity today...apparently it is appropriate to lay out in your bikini in barely 70 degree weather.  Why do I say this you ask?  Well, as I was walking across campus to my car during a tornado advisory, I passed three girls freezing their ass[ignments] off trying to look HOT by laying out on the campus lawn in their bikini's...goosebumps, hard nipples and all!  My message to them, "Baby girls, 70 degree weather equals short sleeve shirts not bikinis. Go on now, put some clothes on"...."bless your little hearts"!  

This next encounter with stupid is not related to college in any way, shape, or form....I wish it was...

Third and most recent encounter with stupidity today...just before I left, as I mentioned when discussing bikini's, there was a tornado advisory alert sent out campus wide.  I didn't think anything of it.  I got in my car and started home merging onto Rt.13 then on to Rt. 50.  Traffic was HORRIBLE.  I got behind a women who's kids have four paws, whom attended UMBC and also attended JHU.  (I gathered all this information from her bumper stickers and window decals).  This highly educated animal lover was driving 15mph in a 35mph zone, driving with two feet (stop & go) and then proceeded to turn left without using her blinker! Grr!!! "USE YOUR BOOK SMARTS TO PRETEND YOU HAVE COMMON SENSE LADY", I yelled at her as I drove by!  Oh how I wish this was the encounter with stupidity I am referring to, but its not (sigh)...  I continued on my way home driving along singing to Sirius Hits 1...then my mom called.  I was chatting away with her (hands free)...still driving along...before I knew it I was half way home.  I turned by NDHS towards Hurlock and noticed a strange looking cloud.  I said to my mom, "There's a cloud right next to me that look suspicious"!  Didn't think anything of it...  Meanwhile she's yelling and carrying on that she can't hear me because I'm breaking up...blah, blah, blah...storm...blah, blah, blah...get off the phone....blah, blah, blah...storm...I don't know what she was saying we were breaking up!  I got off the phone.  Didn't think anything of it...  I was not paying any mind to the suspicious cloud next to me, the lightening around me the gusts of wind beating against my car or my phone breaking up.  As I got closer to Preston I encountered puddles falling from the sky making it almost impossible to see the road in front of me.  Didn't think anything of it...  I got to the school, swam to the door to meet the kids and then swam back to the truck to load them up.  Then, completely saturated, we headed home.  It wasn't until I got home, seen the face book updates and added up the facts that I realized I was probably driving parallel to a tornado and directly through a severe thunderstorm.  Yay me!!! No wonder that cloud looked suspicious!!! (Unfortunately, due to my own stupidity I do not have a picture of the cloud).

Ending on a good note....while this middle-class mama cannot change stupid I can definitely learn from it.  Lesson one: NEVER take a shit[ake] mushroom in the library.  Everyone will hear it!  Lesson two:  DO NOT layout in my bikini on the campus lawn when it is only 70 degrees because people will be able to see my hard nipples!  Lesson three:  ALWAYS USE YOUR BOOK SMARTS MRS. M TO PRETEND YOU HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE!!! :)